SAFARICOM INTERNET

   Safaricom, Ltd is a leading mobile network operator in Kenya blah blah blah

  That is how Wikipedia, the free online dictionary starts off describing Safaricom. Anyone that isnt Kenyan is obviously unaware of how Kenyans describe Safaricom. Some call them 'thieves', some 'thugs' , others 'wezi ' or just any other synonym of 'money-hungry hyneas. That is what the majority of youth call them. Majority being my 200 friends on Facebook. The same majority are still the ones that continue to make Safaricom the leading mobile network operator in Kenya. We Kenyans are very funny (read stupid). We complain and complain about the high cost, non existent offers and poor customer care but wont move to a provider that fits our needs, like Yu or Orange or Zain. We have all their sim cards but they are not always the default one. Otherwise Safcom (as we passionately call it) would not be the leading whatever.

   There are a lot of bad things I personally find about Safaricom and I cannot fit in this post. But there is one that I came across today and thought it was worth a mention. Safaricom Internet.

   And I am not talking about the 3G network that they claim to have. The one that they had modems that claimed that they can go at 7.2 MBps. Oh how I laughed at the fact that people believed this. No I will diss the 3G later. Now what is bugging me is what they call bundles. Safaricom normally charges 8 KenSh per megabyte. That translates to 32 shillings per song downloaded .If you download a  (700MB) movie it will cost you KenSh 5600 and this is hoping the website that you are getting it from does not charge you also!!! I would rather spend that much to go to Nyali watch that movie in a 3D theater, come back then use the rest of the money to buy a China phone!!

  Of course other providers have data rates even a third of what Safariconm charges but people are so hooked on Safcom, like it is a drug, to even notice. Its like their (green) sim cards are made of weed that gets you high with when you burn it by spending credit! In an effort to convince us that the are The Bitter Option, oh sorry, I mean The Better Option, they introduced something they call bundles, which is supposed to mean that you get a lot of data for a reduced price. Well, Safcom lived to that definition but the price thing still bites me.

   There are three options aka bundles that they have. 

prices for the most ecpensive wireless internet in the world

The one have an issue with most is the last one. I gig for 3K. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuiiiiiiii? If you dont get why I am appalled by this, let me explain! Say the Safcom 3G modem could do the 7 MBps speed like the say. ..No that is impossible lets give it a 5. Okay. At 5 Megabytes per second, it would take 3 minutes to reach 1 GB and so one is spending KenSh 1000 per minute ! And the award for the Most Expensive Cyber Cafe goes to.... (drumroll....)......
   1000 shillings per minute.!! If you tell someone like that they wont even consider buying it  . Even that CK guy wont. I am even leaning towards Bill Gates telling MJ to go fuck himself with that modem . But the rate is almost same in all the bundles (avoid the 700MB one please) so why am I against the 1 gig bundle?
   This is why. If you are easy on spending 3 K on internet and choose Safaricom as your ISP either you are a rich fool or it is not your money. I can get unlimited wireless internet for half as much! Cabled internet for even cheaper! So why cant you? If you are are willing to spend 3 grand a day, you can even afford a much faster internet from guys like KDN. You will get your own satellite dish and stuff!!
   But you may claim  that Safaricom internet is cheap for the speeds it gives. This might be true if Safcom actually reached such speeds. They have to reduce the speeds (probably cos they dont have the bandwidth) so that you do not notice how fast your money is going down the drain. They have set different speeds for different bundles.  They are calling it the out of bundle speed. Tried calling CCR for detaills but wako mteja

What does out of bundle effing mean?

 You might then try to convince yourself something like,

 Aaa! Dude! 32Kbps is so slow that I can have this bundle for months you guy.

     That would also be true because that would make it cheaper than the 1500 per month ISPs out there, no doubt. But then Safcom swoops in to fuck you again! Their terms and conditions stipulate that a bundle expires in one month! Which means that if you have not used a byte of your bundle in 30 days, it will all M-Potea!! Wow! I dunno about you but to me that is  a tad restrictive. These terms and conditions are very constraining don't you think?
   Of course you think so and you still surf with Safaricom. You know all these facts but you have somehow come to delude yourself that you can manage it. If you can, good for you, and please hire me to be grooming your poodle and taking it for walks in the park. But if you cannot, switch to cheaper internet, it  is out there you just need to go get it.
   What I am saying in short is, Safaricom is not to blame. We are. They have done exactly what they need to as a business. Adverts are freaking everywhere making you believe that they are indeed The Better Option. I gotta hand it to them for that. The have good PR or whatever.
  So my last words to you republican is please avoid going for what kills you. And please tell me the most annoying thing about your mobile INTERNET provider. Nini hukubore sana na intenet yako?
PS. Check out what Safcom are saying you can do with 1 GB

yeah right