NEWS SHIT

     Today is one of those days that supper collides with the 9 O'Clock news. So, as I ate my deliciously prepared white shit, I took the delightful opportunity to catch up on the news. Nothing caught my attention at first, it was all politics this and politics that. I heard my university mentioned on a story that involved Nuclear power in Kenya! That is a scary thought! Do we really want to do that now? Think about it. We are greedy pigs and we will look for ways to steal the money required to build the generators. So it is a safe bet that they will blow up in future.It would be probably safe to live a safe distance from the blast radius to avoid poisonous waves or radiation or whatever.
 
   So after the news, they brought what they call News Shot. This is a KTN news parody that I guess is supposed to equate to news parodies like The Daily Show by Jon Stewart. It does not even come close. Even if you combine it with the NTV news parody  that is called Bull Shit. Sorry I mean Bulls Nuts. Wait! maybe its Bull's Ass. Okay. I completely forget but I am sure its a part of a Bull.
    Those shows suck. There main aim is to recap the weeks' news in a funny light hearted way. Turn something serious to a joke. I get that. No problem. That is by definition what a parody is. Right? I guess! My main issue is the way they try to make it funny. Maybe its just me, but it comes of as irritating to me. Kwanza the narattors voice!! Ai. Wacha tu. The nigga sounds like an automated voice responder. Very mechanical. Like all those Kenyan news reporters talk. Putting pauses where I they should NOT be. The stresses are all fucked up. I think they are trained to talk like that because there is no way that it is a coincidence that every field reporter talks like the has a diesel generator up their arses.
    So that is my beef with the news today. We get that they might not actually be funny these parodies, but at least could the narrator first talk in a normal tone before they decide to air another show? Maybe that is why I do not find the shows any funny. The narrator himself is not. Just bloody annoying! Makes me want to eat my supper smiling!
    So to you reader I ask. What is the most annoying thing you find in News Eye or Bull Shit?