MALENGE NI TAMU by Tell Em Its Me.co.ke

        They say Hip Hop is dead and if that is true Soulja Boy is trying to kill the coffin where Hip Hop lays. Pushing the grave 13 feet under. Making the corpse rot faster. In short what I'm trying to say is he chucks whack tracks! Ako down. Amebeat. Everything about him is down. But what would you expect from a nigga who calls himself Soulja Boy Tell Em.com? (the .com is silent!!!) Or SoB for short? Of course nothing but bubblegum music, music that tastes good for two seconds but leaves you with a bitter taste in your mouth later. Crunk. It is very unfortunate that he sells so much, earning way way WAY more money than people who really matter in this world. Like surgeons. Or Esther Arunga. Or that poor bloke who invented Twitter.......

      But I guess he wouldn't be where he is without us. We enable him. Make him believe that repeating the title of a song for 3 and a half minute is the best thing that happened to us since Safaricom The Beated Option. So i guess the real problem aint him. Its with us. Actually its us. We are the problem. Every we of us who screams whenever the nigga says repeatedly (but with different intonation) words like ....I miss you for 4 minutes.
       And just to prove how much of a retard he is (and we are) i'm gonna make up a 4 minute song right now. I will not strain myself thinking about it at all. I'm just going to look around and.....oh what do we have here? We are having pumpkin for dinner. I bet that can make a great song. But what will i call myself? I'll just tell them its me.
Here goes.
          The following Hip Hop-cum-Crunk-cum Lokali (haha. I said cum) song is dedicated to all the beautiful warembo ndani ya nyumba. Its called MALENGE NI TAMU by Tell Em Its Me.co.ke (the .co.ke is NOT silent)

(verse 1)

Sema eh? Alafu ah! 

Haiya twende, malenge ni tamu nasema malenge ni..... tamu (x4) 

kama umewahi kula malenge basi unajua ni.....(backup bitches moan....TAMU!)

kusema ukweli sijui kwa nini malenge ni......(Bitches .....Tamu)

kama haujawahi, kula malenge uskie u......(Tamu)

mi hupenda sana kula malenge kwa sababu ni.....Tamu

chorus

malenge ni tamu? (backup responds tamu sana) (x14)

(verse 2)

Ilikuwa Jumapili niliona kidosho mtamu alikuwa anaka kama malenge.....(tamu)

nilikaribia kidosho hichi nikamwambia. Baby, kiss me thro the phone. Akanipa namba yake na ilikuwa 07516253643. Tamu. 

Nikamwambia mpenzi uko YU (tamu) 

Akasema hata mimi niko juu juu mi ni m....(tamu)

Nikamuuliza excuse me una malenge? (tamu?)

Akasema malenge ni tamu

(chorus)

(Hook)

(with soft voice) Ohhhhhhhh! Malenge. Nakupenda ndi ndi ndi. Mhh! Aha! Oh yes! Ni mimi. Oh baby.

Kwasababu na penda malenge tamu....malenge tamu....malenge tamu.....(fades for till 4 minutes reaches or I'm out of breath. Which ever comes last.)

........The End.......

Its as easy as that. Now all i have to do is look for a producer to produce my absolute crap cos he knows he will get rich off me......who has Clemo's namba?


Extracted from my Facebook notes, written long ago. When Esther Arunga was still hot and undemeanted.